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- Trump told more than 2, lies in the past year. And so did I. - Chicago Tribune
- The Lying Year
- Bestselling Series
Or rather, somewhat wacky hi-jinks sometimes ensue. After this promising setup, the book never picks up a head of steam, instead meandering all over the place with little urgency or focus.
It turns out the teenager has a secret lover, but his father has pledged him to the daughter of an Italian concrete magnate, so that's one thread. Mikhail turns out to be attracted to the kid's lover, so that's another thread. There's plenty of deception hence the title , plenty of intragenerational issues, plenty of "New Russia" problems like a gangster who takes over a market stall , some comic set pieces, some gunplay, some diary excerpts, some other voices -- but none of it really adds up to anything really compelling.
It's more a series of vignettes or impressions or moods, as opposed to a compelling story. Those who need their fiction to be plot-driven will likely be frustrated, while those who feed on character will find a little more to chew on -- a little, not a lot. Worth trying if you've got some connection to Russia or Russian fiction, otherwise I can't recommend it.
It's never a good sign when I'm able to put a book down for a few days and completely forget about it, and that happened several times with this book. The primary setting is late '90's Moscow during the Yeltsin regime and the painful transition to free market economy, but while the setting enables some of the plot points, it is not what really makes the novel. Rather, it is the characters and their various and tangled inter-relationships. Without being as overtly philosophical as Dostoevsky or Tolstoy, Gelas "The Lying Year" shares many of the ineffable qualities of classic Russian literature in its approach to characters, tragedy, and comedy.
Without being as overtly philosophical as Dostoevsky or Tolstoy, Gelasimov still manages to deal with questions of love, happiness, money, mental health--in general, why do people do the things they do. He is masterful at interweaving comedy and drama, with some of the most intense scenes also being the funniest--the characters Mikhail and Sergei, especially, seem often unable to get out of their own way, landing themselves in ever more ridiculous situations. The narrative structure also deserves a mention. Gelasimov presents the viewpoints of multiple characters, who each have their own voice, which in turn provides alternative context for events seen from the perspective of another.
But rather than just getting different first-person narrations, each character's thoughts are communicated in a manner uniquely suited to their persona, whether that be straight-ahead first-person, journal entries, letters, voicemail recordings, or stream of consciousness. Perhaps most noteworthy, however, is that the character who motivates everyone else's actions never receives her own voice, leaving a satisfying space to contemplate the necessity, or "rightness," of all that has transpired.
Oct 10, Lynn rated it it was ok Shelves: Franetic fast paced story about a man fired from a regular job for misdeeds and then hired for double salary to teach the bosses son how to drink and carouse with women. The father believe his son is a computer nerd with few social skills.
Little does dad know his boy has been seeing an older Ukrainian girl for 2 years. Mikhail, the employee, finds himself lead by Sergei the younger man into parts unknown. A problem crops up when Mikhail finds himself in love with Marina too and actually has a c Franetic fast paced story about a man fired from a regular job for misdeeds and then hired for double salary to teach the bosses son how to drink and carouse with women. A problem crops up when Mikhail finds himself in love with Marina too and actually has a chance with her.
The story was upbeat and silly but I found not very entertaining. It wasn't bad but in my opinion not that good either. Feb 17, Kerry rated it liked it Shelves: They are wittier, the characters are more interesting, and the plots more original. Those books are also better translated, which may have been part of the problem here, but I can't help but feel it's the original that was lacking the ability to make the reader sympathize even with the scoundrel, credible observations of life's inexplicable nature, and that incomparable richness of language Russian writers are known for.
Oct 30, Andy Bryant rated it liked it. Suspect it's a case of 'lost in translation' but this was quite hard to read and understand at times, and for me the switch between narrative and diary extracts - at the two crucial points in the plot - jarred. There were so many plot strands on the go at once that at times I felt the author got into even more of a knot than the protagonist. Feb 08, Evan marked it as to-read. Apr 22, Alan Fricker rated it liked it Shelves: Xavier rated it really liked it Jan 10, Laura rated it really liked it Dec 10, Anton Tykhomyrov rated it liked it Aug 23, Lucy rated it really liked it Jan 26, Penelope Bridgwater rated it liked it Nov 04, Lisa rated it did not like it Feb 05, Mark Smith rated it really liked it Jan 20, Tredinnick rated it liked it Feb 09, Jennifer rated it it was ok Dec 19, Lettyreads rated it it was amazing Mar 05, Ash McGuigan rated it it was ok Jun 17, Greg McConeghy rated it really liked it Nov 05, We know that without it, we quickly enter slippery ground.
It becomes harder to know one another, difficult to trust. Lies get in the way of closeness, intimacy and connection.
Trump told more than 2, lies in the past year. And so did I. - Chicago Tribune
Over the past few months this question has come up frequently in my counseling and parent coaching practice: What do we do when we find our child lying to us? How to deal with, prevent, heal and course-correct? It is a vast topic and inquiry. In this article I share with you 13 ways to prevent, as well as to respond. One of the most profound shifts in our view of and interaction with children takes place when we realize -- and I mean, truly get -- that they make sense.
Not necessarily "making sense" in the way of articulate reasoning, logic or clear communication. But that there is always a reason behind what they do. They don't just do things for the heck of it. In this way, they make sense. And it is our task and responsibility as adults to decipher what that reason may be, to understand them more, to listen deeper, and to find out what that "sense making" is.
While they are busy learning our language, we need to be busy learning their language.
The Lying Year
In the context of this article, what are they saying when they lie? There is a communication in that too. When we hear the message tucked in the lie , we are much better equipped to respond appropriately. We -- adults and children alike -- grow through ages and stages. As we develop, our understanding and appreciation of fantasy and reality also develop. When dealing with a child whom we perceive is lying, it is important to include in our discernment and our response, where they are at in their developmental journey.
When a 3-year-old says, "My grandma is very, very old, years old!
She's gonna die soon," he is not lying, he is simply expressing his own subjective view, as well as impressions he may have picked up, perhaps also watching for how others react to what he says. Or when a 4-year-old vehemently insists that she did "truly see a fairy peek from behind that rock over there," she is playing with and exploring the line between the imaginary and the real.
On the other hand, when an 8-year-old denies having played on his iPad when he was supposed to be finishing his homework, he is well aware of the difference between what really happened and what he is communicating. Different developmental stages require different responses. We can only be as honest with others as we are with ourselves.
Thus, a child's capacity to be honest is connected with his level of self-awareness and self-knowledge. Your son might say "I'm fine" or just "fine," in response to your question, "How are you, how was our day?
He doesn't actually know what he is feeling, so "fine" may be the best he can muster in the moment. This is another reason why it is so important to pay attention to the many ways a child speaks his truth -- facial expression or lack thereof, gestures, body posture, art, music, energy, etc. Connection is the foundation for truth-telling.
It is the ground upon which honesty grows. A well-connected child wants to share her heart with you. She wants, even needs and is compelled to let you know what is on her heart and mind. Connection is the strongest, most reliable preventative measure you can take against lying. Make time for it. See it as the one thing that shall not be compromised on. Show by example, model integrity yourself. Children learn primarily through imitation, or as Robert Fulghum says, "Don't worry that children never listen to you.
Worry that they are always watching you. When you promise your child, "I'll be back in just a few minutes," how accurate is that? Are your speech and your actions in alignment? Try to be consistent with your integrity, and accurate in your language. If, for example, your son asks you to watch him at his baseball game on the weekend and you are not sure you can fulfill his wish, then say something like, "I will do my best to be there" or "Help me remember that we are planning this," rather than "Sure.
The natural progression of growing up includes expansion -- a growth in freedom and also increasing levels of responsibility. Let your growing children know that when they, for example, misuse their growing freedom of speech eg. If you find them lying to you, discuss with them how they can make good. How they can earn your trust back? Find ways for them to rebuild the broken bridge. And if you find yourself lying, apologize, take responsibility yourself and make good. Make it clear that being believed is initially granted to all, and then, as we grow older, a privilege earned.
This does not mean you have to agree with everything your child tells you! It does mean that if your child senses you are closed, judgmental, anxious, or might overreact around a particular subject, she may very well choose not to divulge what is on her heart and mind. One of the best ways to ensure that your child will keep telling you what is going on in her life, is to notice where you yourself are stuck and frozen, and to deal with those topics and feelings. Face into them, unfreeze yourself -- be these topics of sexuality, money, power, religion, or any area of life around which you feel contraction.
This is ongoing work, and can also be done on the spot.