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- The Wealthy Formula – How You Can Build Sustainable Wealth
- How to build confidence and destroy fear
In , I bought a small commercial building alongside some friends and converted half of it into a coworking space, and it easily filled up with members. If I had the confidence earlier in life, I could have shortcut the intervening work and achieved almost exactly my current lifestyle decades ago: Every day, I get emails from people describing their plentiful savings and unpleasant jobs, and then a description of the golden handcuffs or fearful assumptions that keep them working in their jobs.
With confidence, they could quit right now. But what is all this achievement buying you in life happiness today? What if we could take all that complexity and ass-covering and self-protection in your current life, set it aside, and consider the following ideas. That collection of points above, is my personal version of what Confidence means. Confidence is the opposite of fear, and fear is the enemy that stands between most people and greater happiness. The biggest bonus about this multimillion dollar recipe? Confidence is addictive, joyful, and self-reinforcing.
You now have two complementary tools in your belt: Both of them are useful. But it would be foolish to develop one exclusively, while completely ignoring the other. Most people work too much on the money and use it to compensate for a lack of confidence. To get to the next stage in life, you will need to stop doing that. Matthew In Michigan March 10, , 7: Very Zen like, I think the Dali llama would approve!!
This is key for me, so simple yet so difficult to execute every time. If I were to tattoo any part of this great post it would be this…. Tonya March 10, , 8: This reminds me of something Jean Chatzky said at one of the keynotes for Fincon in St. She could adjust her lifestyle accordingly and find a job doing what she had to do and do well at it. I fully admit I do have those confidence issues. Weronika March 10, , On the one hand I agree with the article, on the other… By doing all those things like building a career, making money, getting funds to buy a house, get high quality education and health care, even by wasting some of it we learn a lot, build connections that we can later rely on, get to know ourselves better, etc.
Sonya March 10, , Your happiness is independent to luxury possessions and a super fancy lifestyle. This might be my fave article, thanks MMM! Mighty Investor March 10, , Many of us who hit FI may find a new area were we need to regain confidence. We know we can rock a job, but can we really rock FIRE?
I for one found the first few months or leaving the high-powered job quite disorienting. It has always been my view that anxiety and worry have ended more dreams than lack of money ever could. We and our doubts are often our own worst enemies. Things WILL be fine. Hope in your heart is a powerful thing. And so is the confidence that comes from that hope. Amy March 10, , This post really struck me, as an overachiever. Terry March 17, , 9: An interesting observation, Amy. My husband and I no kids no siblings no parents kept moving for his software consultant work and over 25 years, have had our friendships dwindle.
We float around the jamband music scene and have the occasional great encounter that sustains us socially for a while. Having a new tight circle of friends now? I stopped dreaming of it just in this last year. Alex March 10, , Thank you for this. In a way this post really shortcuts the Early Retirement scheme.
I may only have a few thousand in savings and only a little income from odd jobs and creative projects. If I needed more money, I could take a job or set up a small business. If you have a willingness to work, and learn and put your energy into creative and productive pursuits while being frugal — you can have a very high quality of life, with low stress. We have older retired friends who are actually MORE busy than they ever were when they worked and managed a restaurant.
It takes balls to step out beyond your fears and your safety net. But once you do it gives you a real zest for life and you want more freedom and your horizons expand along with your heart. Dharma Bum March 13, , 5: Carly March 10, , 1: This is just what I needed right now! For the last 10 months I have been gradually trying to build a piano studio, and make a living as a piano teacher while I work the temp job.
I am now up to 18 students, and make about as much teaching as I would working full time at the temp job. This just might have helped me: Advice from other readers is welcome as to what I should do! Charlotte March 11, , 2: You can do both. Carly March 11, , 6: Ann March 11, , 6: Continue to attract more piano students but raise your price to the highest the market will allow, or just below it.
I have found two things about raising prices I am a private English tutor. They just want the best for their kids. People like to spend money! And they think that if you charge more, then you are better. Of course you have to work hard for them in return — enjoy finding ways to actually be better. Remember, if you can attract 18 clients, you can attract Carly March 11, , 7: Thank you for the advice!! Maybe I should value myself more.
CL Frey March 11, , The biggest regret that I have about going freelance is not raising my rates sooner — I went from needing lots of low paying hours to being better paid for less work. Ann March 11, , I forgot to mention in my previous comment, I am 56 and only have two regrets in life: I was totally unsuited to it and hated every minute of it but I was young and so low in confidence that I thought it was my fault that I hated it.
I thought I must just have a bad attitude because everyone else seemed to be coping. What on earth are you doing in that office job?? Carly March 12, , 3: Thank you for the encouragement! I definitely think that I will be quitting: EJ March 12, , One thought from the more money, less confidence side of the scale: It is certainly on the high end for an office worker, but they know you and like you, can cutout the payments to any temp agency that placed you, and you can always negotiate.
Carly March 14, , 3: Thanks for the advice! I definitely plan on raising my rates within the year….. I need to trust my worth! Elaine March 25, , 6: I have diplomas in piano, organ, and voice, as well as a university business degree. After university I worked in an insurance company for 7. I took the plunge and have been self-employed ever since doing an ever-changing combination of music and business work. You have to gear what you charge and how you build up your studio to where you live. I would have no business if I charged city rates here in the country. I could charge a bit more here, but not a lot.
Carly March 30, , 8: I actually have about 6 adult students, and I love them! I started teaching seriously a little over a year ago, and I know what you mean by feeling unprepared. Sam March 10, , 1: Your point about travel rings so true to me. People will go to great lengths to blow huge amounts of money to get some pictures to post online for others to envy.
Oldster March 10, , 1: You hit the nail on the head Pete. While I do think that happiness is largely a choice — you can actually feel happier just by choosing to feel happier — the acquisition of confidence is something that requires some practice and at least some small amount of risk. You have to put yourself out there a bit in order to see that it is within you.
One of the things I like most about this community is the sense of support. Everyone is trying to do their variation of Financial Independence in order to secure more happiness. It is really a beautiful thing. Anton March 10, , 2: ZJ Thorne March 10, , 5: There has not been a true correlation in my life so far. I started a business before I truly knew how to run it so that I could make a life I wanted.
It took some money, but mainly it took being confident that I could learn enough quickly enough. I keep on learning and improving my skills and have no desire to stop that. Eric March 10, , 6: A friend of hers described how overly confident people were really annoying, usually arrogant and that they were probably compensating for something. MMM can do what he does now because of confidence the money is already there, so nothing to lose , but to do these things early on before you have the money, that takes courage.
Its a bit of semantics, but thinking of it of courage helped me understand the concept better. Thanks MMM for the serendipitous post! Ms Blaise March 11, , 3: I like this framing. Here in NZ we are a little dubious about confident people, but we adore courageous people!
Nick March 10, , 9: I will use your list in order to help me get better focus on my plan going forward. The thought of working for someone is very unappealing but I find myself considering it. Nick from Canmore, AB, Canada. Laura March 10, , If we play recreational tennis, we outdo our friends by making less mistakes. This may push you to take actionable steps , create your wealth system and processes. The great motivational speaker Jim Rohn said: Many I know, are only interested in reading up on wealth and imagining being wealthy. They are more into financial porn. Only when you inculcate actionable tasks into your daily and weekly life that revolves around wealth, can you achieve the reality.
It is whether you will do it. Pick out one area that you need to improve and work on it. Share with me what are the potential problems building wealth this way. Active Stock Investor for 14 years. Reached Financial Independence at Long but good post.
Hi Lp, I thought I try to illustrate a bit that most of the main determinants are controllable stuff. There are difficult situations and one have to see if the couple wants that hard enough. Hi Kyith, Enjoyed the various strategies that you have illustrated. Note that because it is possible in the short term its going to be volatile you dont want to touch it. Allocate like for the expenses and wedding prep and all. I am not sure, but the catalyst seems to be after you start using your real name and picture in this blog.
Talk about confidence and self-assuredness! Thanks for timely reminders with the 3 basic advice. Hi Snoopy, i changed it not too long ago. Last drawn pay was an expat package with housing and home visit on SQ. A few kind words and smile on SQ flight, ensured that my Singapore sling glass is always filled. Made friends with the crews too. The point is over time, I had learned and adapted to spend within my means. The only credit card I had then , was a sub card from my brother, which is carried only when I am traveling. To fall back to the roots of being humble, is no issue.
Can the younglings of today, with access to all the experiences and info from the web, learn and adapt accordingly? All others I pay myself. Good luck to them lah. Hi Kyith I have just started reading your postings.
- The Wealthy Formula – How You Can Build Sustainable Wealth.
- The Regrets of the Dying.
- Money and Confidence are Interchangeable!
- Scared Rich: Building Wealth with Confidence.
- Kickshaw Candies;
- Big Lies!
- Rückstellungsbewertung nach BilMoG, IFRS und Steuerbilanz (German Edition)?
Thanks for taking the trouble to share. They are good plans. I hope many more will heed your advice. Hi Kyith I have decided to add my 2 cents. I am in my 50s and happy with my financial planning to date. I would like to share what has worked for me. My wife was a full time homemaker till my children were old enough to care for themselves.
I was the only incomer earner for almost 20 years. My family lives simply and happily with the basic necessities. My family goes on a holiday once a year lasting days. This is our only major annual expense. When my children got into local university instead and I paid the fees through my CPF , I ploughed the insurance monies into equity market. If all my children go into local university, I can enlarge my investment portfolio even further.
I am still a novice player and go for dividend yielding shares and have built up a portfolio that gives return in all months except 1 todate. It is as good as having a lifelong job. We see our Special accts swell over these years. With the SRS monies, I invest in equities. The investment has grown more than twice the sum I put in. I might have done better by monitoring the market more closely but unfortunately this is not of my interest: It has turned out well enough for me and my financial state of Nirvana has enhanced my quality of life.
I hope my sharing will help others in their planning for it is never too late to plan. And perhaps thats how most used to live conservatively. There is a level of margin of safety in the way you life and perhaps most of us should when it comes to decision making.
Low just demonstrated that happy life can be achieved, just watch your impulsive buys and stop comparing with the next door neighbors. Some, like an ex gf, demanded should we settle down — a maid to do the housework is a must. Not forgetting that status symbol of a car. Still, i felt that there is no need to be seen lah. Have to take that bold step to walk away from the job.
For a while at least and had been for the past 6 months. I will tell you. I am even more busier than when i has at work. Wow i am a bit confused. Wish we cab be as such when we are Probably not on my puny salary. In any case, here are some good podcast that would challenge what is required in retirement. Erm, I am semi retired for the past 6 months. When you say semi retired, are you still in your last worked profession or more like ad hoc consultation? In all years, I contributed in full amounts allowable for the cash top up and SRS.
Quite a tidy sum: Hi can you elaborate what you meant by srs deposits and funding?. I thought that should not be within the context of discussion. Thanks for your article! It certainly was very illuminating, especially since it was written by a local for locals! Just a question, I just touched 30 and just freshly emerged from the debt-pit of ROM — in fact, reading your post on marriage costs was how I stumbled on your blog , and all along I have been purchasing endowment plans and etc. After reading your article, I would like to funnel my monies into ETFs.
As a beginner, where and how should I begin looking at to buy ETFs? He made a 10 year plan using an excel spreadsheet from you. May i know where I can download that spreadsheet? The excel you are sharing on this post is fantastic but i am looking for something simpler. Hi Joy, thanks for visiting.
You can look under the Resources section where I group my articles into sections. As for the spreadsheet could you link me to the post which shows 10 year dividend result, sorry I created too many spreadsheets. Perhaps u can provide me with a link. Is it possible to see this xls? I would like to share my method to financial freedom. Marry the right partner who shares the same money values as you. Simply frugal is good enough. Leverage is paramount and the only leverage you should use is with Properties.
Be damn cheap, scrutinize everything for a better deal. No one likes a miser. You might lose a financial opportunity. Be cheap for the first 5 years as your goal. Have kids later in life like mid 30s. Marry early assuming the partner is the right choice. You can then enjoy economies of scale. Buy 4rm HDB with wife while being young. If no govt grant.
Then buy a HDB flat that has 4 bed rooms like those in Redhill. Rent out 2 rooms or 3 rooms if you have 4 bed rooms.. One of the rooms rented out should be the master bedroom. Many are willing to pay premium for this. YOu should be sleeping in the smallest room with wife. Do not pay off your HDB loan no matter what. For most of that time, I have been fit.
I've eaten well and exercised often. But during the past couple of years, my attention has been focused elsewhere. My priorities have shifted. During my RV trip across the U. I can see it in my body and feel it in my mind. Talking about fitness and having been fit in the past won't make me fit today. To be fit, I have to do the work to become and remain fit. Fitness will return when I choose to eat right and exercise once again. Not just once, but every day. However, Aristotle never wrote this. Instead, the quote is Will Durant's summary of Aristotle's philosophy.
What have action and fear to do with personal and financial independence? The first step toward freedom of any sort is facing and fighting your fears. Next, we'll explore personal well-being. We'll talk about what happiness is, how it's achieved, and what you can do to maximize happiness in your life. Because happiness too is an important part of achieving personal and financial freedom. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest.
Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money — and your life. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals. Join 23, subscribers who receive the weekly GRS Insider email newsletter featuring the best of the blog — and beyond. Unsubscribe at any time. As I was reading through it, one thing kept popping into my head: This despite having all the ability in the world to do well.
Congratulations on going ahead with your financial planners meeting in spite of your fear. I was really moved by your post today. I am learning to do my best and let go. I still struggle with confidence, though. Ditto on the congratulations. And you selected a wonderful book as a resource.
One thing that was a eye-opener to me was a discussion that I had with a coworker many years ago. He told me about dreaming of making a winning goal in hockey game. He always dreamed about positive things, which was a shock to me. That was when I realized I could change my own mindset. I used some of the techniques outlined here, with some success. I do need to feed myself mentally though, and to exercise my positive mindset regularly. The one thing that was missing from this great list is you should remember that you are the expert and they are there to hear what you have to say.
If you mess up or forget to say something that you really wanted to emphasize, who will know but you? Remembering that goes a long way in building confidence in speaking. It was mostly meant for stage performances, because the average non-dancer audience member only watches the upper body us dancers watch the feet! It is a Christian book about how men can embrace their manliness.
A key point in the book is that when something scares you, then that is a sign that you should do it. Fear keeps us from becoming the best we can be and typically that fear is irrational. If there is an opportunity that scares me, I take that fear as a sign I should do it. It takes a shift in mental thinking to do, but once you do, the experiences that you have multiply.
Public speaking is a big fear of mine too. Mainly because I lack self-confidence and constantly doubt myself. She said she wished she could be as confident and self-assure as I was. That really shocked me, knowing how I feel on the inside most times. Pat your perfectionist self on the back. This is a great post!
- Money and Confidence are Interchangeable?
- The Source of Fear?
- Scared Rich: Building Wealth with Confidence - Bradley Huffman - Google Books.
- How to build confidence (and destroy fear);
I see fear as the root of all evil in the world. Fear is the opposite of Love, and it prevents us from living our best lives. With every fear that we face, and conquer, we become that much stronger, that much better…that much closer to our true selves. Congratulations on becoming a better you! A quick heads-up, J. Thanks for the great post! Fear can be paralysing, and remembering that it is a problem numerous people including ones we admire have to overcome helps enormously.
I just graduated for WOU. I read multiple blogs, but I always make sure to catch yours. I recently overcame a personal fear. I had to move away from everything I knew so that I could find work. After graduating, I tried desperately to find work in Oregon, but there were no opportunities, even though I graduated with a degree in Computer Science. Luckily, I received an offer for a job in Virginia, but I was afraid to move away from every support system I had. It seems to have worked out for now, but it was very difficult for me to overcome the fear of leaving everything I had ever known.
Good timing for this post. Like you, I feel confident in my ability to write, but not so confident in my ability to speak. I really hate being up in front of people. It helps to know that other more established bloggers like your self also tremble at the thought of speaking in front of an audience! Self-confidence is a cancer. Once it implants, it grows very rapidly.
Most of us have experienced it. Once you stay through that initial impulse, you are forced to take an action. It may not be the right action exactly, but we have a tendancy to modify and improve our technique over time. I have recently subscribed to your blog and I just loved your post today. Thank you, keep up the great writing!
As someone who reads about financial blogs every day, I can say with complete honesty that yours ranks in the top 2. Your subject matter is relevant and your writing is informative and engaging.
The Wealthy Formula – How You Can Build Sustainable Wealth
I myself struggle with confidence issues and I am always suprised and a little relieved when someone with so much success feels the same things. Keep up the good work. You are absolutely right that fear can squash your dreams. Fear of making a change, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone.
Thanks for a great post and congratulations on overcoming some of your fears. Presidents hold mock press conferences before the real thing, to practice their delivery and answer questions that are similar to the ones that will be fired at them during the real thing. Familiarity is relaxing and confidence-building. I love that you sometimes address the bigger picture than just finances.
Yours is the only financial blog I subscribe to and these are some of the reasons why! Thank you for sharing your journey and the lessons learned along the way. It probably wont come out as well as it did for the TV chef the first time you make it. Confidence comes from experience, experience comes from doing, doing happens when you allow yourself to focus on the action rather than the results. Everything has a learning curve and as soon as we allow ourselves to learn we start to do, as we do we gain experience, and with experience comes confidence.
What a great post today with such helpful resources. As more people are joining the ranks of the unemployed every day, any advice on having confidence in yourself and your skills and knowledge is of great value. I just wanted to add that courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
Thank you for this great, great post! I cannot underline enough how important it is not to think, but to act, when you fear a situation. I myself am a huge perfectionist and because of this I have developed a big procastination problem in my studies I even had therapy! This was a good post to read after being up at four in the morning worrying about the fact that my roof needs to be replaced, which of course does nothing at all for the roof.
Teach a course sometime if you have the opportunity. That really helped me with public speaking. I still get butterflies, but I know I can do it now. I relatively confident and successful on the outside, but totally afraid on the inside. So this post was quite inspiring for me and I hope others! It just annoys me the person who actually knows less, should not speak, and has every reason NOT to be confident, tends to be the confident, gregarious, self-assured type. I will work on the whole thinking positive thing.. I do a lot of public peaking for work with audiences that can sometimes be up to people in person.
I did a webinar once that attracted about people. When I first started his job 15 years ago, I really disliked the public speaking part. Now, though I am nervous from time to time, I realize that I am a subject matter expert, just as you are. I cannot imagine that you are intimidated by other financial writers, I find you writing so impressive! The next step for me is public speaking, and I have thus declined when asked due to my insecurities about it.
I, too, am a perfectionist, but had never realized that is part of my problem until now. I did join Toastmasters and have been practicing there for several months. After reading your article and the other posts, however, now I am inspired, and I will stop procrastinating! The Magic of Thinking Big is one of my favorites. Thank you for posting this. I think that the building confidence is such an important concept for me to remember. The quote from Dune was up on my bedroom wall where I saw it every day in high school.
But if, upon analysis, the fear is irrational then it should be overcome. I have a fear of skydiving because of the danger involved. I consider that a rational fear. Fear needs to be balanced. I agree that fear can lead to irrational behavior, but lack of fear can lead to harm as well.
Faking confidence in a situation where I was not at all confident got the attention of my current boyfriend… almost 4 years ago now o. I am a big fan of just faking the confidence! I would suggest Toastmasters as well. I am the exact opposite — a terrible writer but a really good speaker.
I can BS on my toes and convince people I know what I am talking about. One of my employees recently made a speech that was good — but not great. She has been going and she has improved tremendously. The reason I keep coming back to your blog is because you are YOU — you know your own limitations. Congratulations on the TV appearance. One thing that really helps me is to have excellent handouts prepared in advance. In November we finished the development of an industrial area and we had an inaguration with some politician. I prepared something about the history of the area it was a coal mine in the 19th century, a soccer field in the 70s and held a rock festival in the 90s.
The mayor introduced the act and I found myself with those people and no idea what to talk about. So I began to talk fast, low, incoherent and looking at the floor. I love this post, with one exception — I think it is a good practice to move ahead if your gut tells you it is a good move.. Some others apparently agree.. MOTB is one of my favorite books of all time. Schwartz mentioned before in a blog. I really enjoyed this post and in general have been enjoying your blog very much. I like how you weave material into a blog that I thought would only talk about money.
I am beginning to learn that handling money is about a lot more than just how much is in your pocket. Even though I may not have all the answers, I do know my subject better than most of my audience, and I can hold my own. I too have been guilty of striving for perfectionism.
This part really made me think:. So why do I have this self-imposed glass ceiling? Thanks so much for this post…lots of food for thought. JD, great to hear of your success. A former boss once said, success comes from 3 things: Well known entertainers and stage actors say they still get butterflies before opening.
Just keeps them on their toes. I just have to say thank you for all of the wonderful information that you provide to so many people! JD — Great post. You raise an interesting point when you mention how much 10 minutes can do for your confidence. But even a slow writer can write words in 10 minutes, including checking email for a minute or two.
Everyone has heard the adage that 5 years from now your life will have changed because of the people you met and the books you read. It is Clarity — Confidence — Action; enter anywhere, the formula works in either direction. And only then can we look back in our wake and see how we got there. Clarity and Confidence are so much greater and Action becomes second nature.
There is no right or wrong in any action, only the systematic narrowing of focus…. You are so right about dressing and looking confident. In my last job I worked with CEOs and helped them write and present their speeches to a formidable crowd of hundreds of their peers. I was surprised to find that most of these people — even though they regularly spoke to hundreds of employees — were afraid to speak in front of other CEOs.
I always saw their potential and envisioned them doing a great job… and then I told them that they were doing great. And I believed what I said: They called me their cheerleader… now I have be my own cheerleader as I have agreed to several speaking opportunities to college students. But after seeing so many transformations, I know I can speak well with enough practice.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. Hey, JD, I have a question for you. I think that the more we try to find our courage and actually do find it we tent to become a perfectionist. You said you are always wanting to look back at the positive outcomes of your situations instead of the negative. I believe this is where you can find yourself becoming more of a perfectionist. I think this is something we have to be aware of. Perfectionism can hold us back as does fear.
So when you think you are taking one step foward, you tend to take another one back. I understand this problem because wether it makes sense or not I experience this in painting.
How to build confidence and destroy fear
I no longer fear that because I have had enough situations where I feel confidant. However now I am a perfectionist and will not do anything unless I know its perfect. Holds me back from doing what I need to do. Because as you said, I am looking back at my the good things I have done. The steps I took, the way I sat etc. Do what you think is best, and do it quickly. The longer you take to act, the more time you have to talk yourself out of it, the longer you have to imagine the things that might go wrong.
Back in the military, I was taught that even a bad decision is better than indecision. The simple way is talk to the one you most feared and prepared the worst results. You will find that every thing are in your control. I felt so good reading it. Very enlightening and inspiring. I took notes and I will check out the books. This made my day. I really needed this and will probably re-read this entire post daily for the rest of this month and purchase the books you recommended… I will begin to practice at least 2 of your suggesstions for building confidence daily starting now.
This is my first time to find this site and i read every word beginning to end and found many useful techniques. The biggest problem i have is procrastination and after reading this page i am motivated to go back and try my hardest. TexasBoy It was interesting to see your comment of wanting to go back to school. Thanks for making me realize that I would regret not getting my degree and that I should just stick it out to the end no matter how poor I am now because of it. Corny I know but she has never, ever uttered anything like that and it just blew me away and gave me the boost I needed.
How to build confidence and destroy fear Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions. We make choices based on fear instead of what is best for us. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behavior. I think it has finally sunk in, thanks. I felt the same way as U do abt feeling inadequate, J. We do that all the time. As individuals, societies, countries. Well the article has put me in situation of giving a serious comeback of former personlaity which I lost due to fear and stepping back on every occassion.
I appreciate your efforts of effectively putting this article an eye-opener for all those who feel estranged and emotionally underpinned by fear. This post and the comments raises an interesting idea. Picturing yourself doing what you dream of, saying yes to the opportunity, then acting confident will do wonders to steamroll through fear and build confidence. Avoiding fear means not trying anything new. By accepting fear, you learn to actually utilize it.
Great list on building confidence especially for public speaking , and I totally agree with your point on how no amount of lists and reading will make you confident — go out and do it, Oleg. I too lacked self confidence to buy rental property. I was scared, but could not turn back after I had renters ready to move in. Three years, 5 houses later, I look back and am glad that I overcame this fear… though not fully over it.
For years I have lacked self-esteem and confidence, but working at it slowly and getting great tips, such as from this article, really motivates me to keep improving. Thank you very much for being so honest with your fears, as it has helped me. I just wanted to thank you for your post. I suffer a lot from low self-confidence and have been working to build it, but man it can be hard.
I find that the more times I confront my fears, the more I grow as a person. Very often, fear is really fear of the unknown. Stories of people losing their fortunes combined with this breeds more fear. An easy first step would be to take a deep breath and set out to learn more about this formerly unknown area. How then could someone who suffers disastrous misfortune ever have the confidence to rebuild? The greatest confidence is an inherent quality of the self, independent of exterior circumstance and experiences.
Unwire the social conditioning, tear down the constructed ego, and limitless unbound self esteem and confidence will be discovered underneath it all. Many people just are not positive or optimistic in nature. Things happen, even with the best of planning and knowledge and practice.
I have fear of exams. I like to study but not for sake of exams: The best thing I ever did was take an improv course. I now get up in front of people, whether at work or social and present. It reminds me of the best success manuals that are out there, and it reads like a blueprint we must follow in order to grow and make ourselves more successful.
I am a Toastmaster and I must say that it has made me a better speaker in front of people but also in one on one interaction. It makes you more confident about your abilities. Step outside of your comfort zone. I used to be really nervous about going to things as simple as parties. And even if I did, would I have even remembered or gave it a more than a passing thought? I recently bought the Savvy Blogging tapes which featured JD.
He was a great speaker, clear, thoughtful and funny. He must have followed his own great advice! Fear is probably what kept me from playing on the mini-tour golf.