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by Jonathan Foster

  1. Friday, December 03, 2010
  2. The Autobiography of a Narcissist by Jonathan Foster
  3. Were You Raised By a Narcissist?: The complete guide to everything that's wrong with you now.
  4. The Autobiography Of A Narcissist

Gaston from Disney's Beauty and the Beast presents a silly but fairly apt model of grandiosity, probably the most recognizable feature of people high in narcissism and those with NPD. That brawny braggart sings, "As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! As you see, I've got biceps to spare! I'm especially good at expectorating!

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And every last inch of me's covered in hair. But it's a mistake to assume that all narcissists will be such obvious preeners. For example, he suggests, some narcissists can be of the "communal" variety and actually devote their lives to helping others. They might even agree with such statements as "I'm the most helpful person I know," or "I will be known for the good deeds I have done.

And there are highly introverted , or "vulnerable," narcissists. These individuals feel they are more temperamentally sensitive than others. They react poorly to even gentle criticism and need constant reassurance. The way they feel special might actually be negative: They may see themselves as the ugliest person at the party or feel like a misunderstood genius in a world that refuses to recognize their gifts.

What all subtypes of narcissist have in common, Malkin says, is "self-enhancement. That struggle is at the core of a new conception of narcissism, one focused as much on depression as on grandiosity. When reality catches up with them, they may react by becoming depressed. When a clear setback, such as a job loss or divorce or even a plan being scuttled, dents the carefully burnished self-image of a narcissistic individual, "this is a real attack on who he is," says Steven Huprich, the president-elect of the International Society for the Study of Personality Disorders and a professor at the University of Detroit Mercy.

Not surprisingly, he finds himself a little more down and depressed. Of course, even people with healthy mental states struggle to deal with such dramatic turnarounds, Huprich says, "but for narcissists and narcissistic personalities, loss is really very difficult, because it suggests vulnerability and weakness. It suggests that you actually aren't immune to life's challenges and ups and downs. The narcissist might also exhibit defensiveness and anger at such moments. Others are unlikely to have the same sort of aggressive outbursts. When a disappointment cuts through narcissists' thick layer of grandiosity and self-promotion and breaches their core, their resulting melancholy or boiling rage might motivate them to seek outside help.

They rarely, however, come in seeking treatment for their narcissism. That doesn't mean narcissists are oblivious to their trait. They described themselves as arrogant and knew that others saw them less positively than they saw themselves. But they generally didn't see this as a problem, and the debate continues over whether their grandiosity reflects an ironclad belief in their superiority or masks an underlying absence of self-confidence.

Over years of research, Huprich and colleagues have developed a concept that may be related to narcissism. They call it "malignant self-regard. Applied more widely to narcissistic subtypes, the theory suggests that deep-seated insecurity about the self and an exceedingly fragile sense of self-esteem can lead to maladaptive thoughts and behavior.

Extraverted narcissists exhibit grandiose attention-seeking. Vulnerable narcissists, meanwhile, simply succumb to their damaged self-image. People may develop malignant self-regard as children in the context of their relationships, Huprich proposes.

Friday, December 03, 2010

These individuals may have had inconsistent experiences with their parents, related in particular to how success and achievement were recognized. Parents might have refused to acknowledge achievements or discouraged bragging about them, taking away the rose-colored glasses of healthy narcissism that could have eased the way as a child encountered new challenges in life. Childhood experiences may play a major role, but most experts agree that both high levels of trait narcissism and NPD arise from the combined influences of nature and nurture that likely begin in the genes.

One's environment can either weaken or strengthen those traits, "though there are always people who don't seem to react to their environment; they're just kind of resilient to it.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

One twin study found that narcissism was a highly heritable trait. It can also manifest early in life: Another study found that dramatic, aggressive, attention-seeking preschoolers were more likely to end up as narcissistic adults. But parenting styles, the influence of other relationships, and one's social and cultural environments can encourage or deter its development. Culture matters as well: But across the globe, cultures with a more collectivist tradition tend to put the group before the individual: High narcissism is not the same as high self-esteem.

The Autobiography of a Narcissist by Jonathan Foster

He and his colleagues found that when mothers and fathers are warm and affectionate, spending time with their kids and showing interest in their activities, "the children gradually internalize the belief that they are worthy individuals—the very core of self-esteem—and this doesn't spill over into narcissism," he says. By contrast, parental overvaluation—placing children on a pedestal—does promote narcissistic traits. To avoid raising narcissists, it's better for parents to say to children, "You did a good job," rather than, "You deserved to win" or "Why weren't you as good as she was?

An early pronounced focus on success can lead to an insecure attachment between parent and child, as a son or daughter learns that a mother's or father's love and attention are available only if high expectations are met. Children who feel they can never measure up can move into adulthood with a fragile ego and latch onto narcissistic thoughts and behaviors to shore it up.

Narcissists aren't born; they're made - CNN article review

Parents who raise narcissists, Ludden says, "present to their kids a world where everything is a competition: There are winners and losers and you've got to be a winner. No matter how hard parents try to steer children away from all-or-nothing competition, many eventually have to vie for college admission, internships, and jobs.

Shrinking opportunities may be what's contributing to a perception of raging narcissism among young adults. We've set up a society that encourages the narcissist as opposed to one where that kind of behavior is discouraged. Many young people who might have come across as quite modest in another time or milieu may just be trying to keep up and may deserve more of a pass for it.

I would argue that they would be the same. The question of whether narcissism—the trait or the disorder—is on the rise is a subject of fierce debate in the research community. For example, while NPI scores have risen across generations, they have not done so as much as might be expected if a major cultural shift had taken place.

Experts also disagree on whether it's fair to make cross-generational comparisons: Would the Greatest Generation have become as notable for its reticence if soldiers had been able to tweet from the European or Pacific theater? What is clear is that people are always more narcissistic when they're younger. It's a logical developmental trend: Young adulthood is a time when people are largely free of responsibilities, either to their family of origin or the family they will eventually establish.

Her research shows that generations exposed to hardships, such as recessions, tend to end up less narcissistic than those that face fewer large-scale challenges.

Were You Raised By a Narcissist?: The complete guide to everything that's wrong with you now.

That may mean that Millennials—still struggling to establish themselves in a slowly recovering economy—might actually end up far less narcissistic than pre data would suggest. History offers many examples of figures presumed to have had narcissistic personality disorder. Apparent self-assurance can propel a narcissist into power.

At first, people high in narcissism, and those with NPD, can be quite charming, easily attracting friends, lovers, and voters. Rouse composing stick, and two unopened jars of ink - to start printing that night. Then he agreed to pose with the Adana.

The Autobiography Of A Narcissist

Right now, Linda Sue is seated next to our new addition, sorting the "ff"s from the "ffe"s the double letters arecalled ligature , I've learned and chirping along with the music streaming from our iMac via iTunes to our Apple Airport that is hardwired to the Denon stereo. Not exactly the simplicity of a boombox, but we are streaming Hank Mobley.

This image makes me a bit homesick for Seattle. It is the work of Melanie Connor, a photographer for the New York Times used here without permission, though much appreciated nonetheless , and I think it is one of the more meaningful photographs I've seen of downtown.

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  • Of course, I do like my lines. You ought to read an article on near-record-breaking rain and see why they used this one. I spent a wonderful weekend in Ashland OR over the holiday and visited with Linda Sue's family, but in particular enjoyed discussions with my brother-in-law Steven. Visiting his studio was a quiet joy for me, and I wish now we'd had more time to ruminate there. Good things are happening in that room. He also perhaps unwittingly gave me some good ideas about a new approach to this writing space. For now, I'm trying to reach my monthly pages goal, and I still have 3 whole days.

    December will be a tough month for getting work done. Interactivity - Writing - Thou.